Satyam Computer Services chairman Ramalinga Raju's letter where he confessed to having cooked the company's books to the tune of at least Rs 7136 crore displayed several literary flourishes. Maybe the lover of science fiction could explore a second life in literature. Here, with due apologies to the authors of the originals (the original lines are in brackets), are how some popular works of fiction would probably begin if authored by Raju.
Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams about stock market regulators he found himself transformed in his bed into that rare thing -- a clean balance sheet.
(As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into a giant insect. )
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a company in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a smart auditor.
(It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.)
Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott
A balance sheet won't be a balance sheet without any cash," grumbled Vadlamani, lying.
("Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Jo, lying on the rug. )
I, Robot by Issac Asimov
I looked at my audit notes and I didn't like them. I'd spent three days going through the books of XXXXXXX and might as well have spent them at home with my PSP
(I looked at my notes and I didn't like them. I'd spent three days at U.S. Robots and might as well have spent them at home with the Encyclopedia Tellurica. )
The Exorcist, by William Peter Blatty
Like the brief doomed flare of exploding suns that registers dimly on men's eyes, the beginning of t ...