What Is Assertiveness? Assertiveness is the ability to express one’s feelings and assert one’s rights while respecting the feelings and rights of others. Assertive communication is appropriately direct, open and honest, and clarifies one’s needs to the other person. Assertiveness comes naturally to some, but is a skill that can be learned. People who have mastered the skill of assertiveness are able to greatly reduce the level of interpersonal conflict in their lives, thereby reducing a major source of stress. (Scott, 2006, para. 1).
I must admit this topic couldn’t have come at a better time for me personally. I’m using this opportunity to research, access and exam assertiveness in my personal life.
I am the only child of my mother and big sister to several from my father. I grew up with my grandmother, who was and still to this day, a very aggressive and intimidating parent in my rearing. Her love was not shown in what society may deem a “traditional manner”. I’ve never heard her express outwardly emotions like “I love you”. Although, she in her own way showed love, it could not be easily identified.
So, I learned at an early age when to speak up and when to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself, in fear of having my feeling hurt. So, you can imagine I was taken advantage of because I didn’t know how to assert myself.
When did I move from the non-assertive to assertiveness? It was not until, I joined the military. It was an eye opening experience that forever changed my passive side. When orders are given by persons of authority you must follow. But, when orders are given that are in contradiction to the rules, you must be assertive to stand up for your rights or remain passive and except the situation in order to avoid conflict or dis ...